Friday, August 21, 2009

Stay At Home Envy

Do any of you working moms out there ever wish you could be a stay at home mom?

I do.

I know my perception is probably far from reality, but sometimes it seems like such a better situation. There's no hurry up and rush in the morning to get the kids to daycare so you can get to work - work all day then hurry to daycare to get the kids before they close - then head home to figure out something quick to cook for dinner and feed the kids - then clean up the kitchen before it's time for baths and bed - then try to pick up the house your children destroyed in the fifteen minutes you weren't looking - then sit down and discuss your day (work) with the hubby since you don't have any friends that are interested in listening - then finally plop down in bed so completely exhausted from the day when (oh you can't be serious) dh starts rubbing up against you.

All to get up at 5am - okay, 520am after I hit snooze twice - to do it over again the next day.

I'm envious of the girls I know that stay at home, who get to meet up at 10am to do Bible Studies or get the kids together for playdates at the morning library story time. I'm jealous of Mother's Day Out. I'm envious of naptime, when I notice they get time to post comments on blogs or on Facebook or have time to clean the house since the kids are sleeping. I wish I too could go to the gym every morning after breakfast rather than once every couple of weeks. I'm jealous that they get to drive the SUVs my dh won't let me have. I'm jealous that I'm not part of their close-knit circle of SAHM friends, since us working moms don't fit in that group sometimes. I wish, at the end of day, I'd still have enough energy to play with my kids rather than falling asleep while they watch Dora, and I wouldn't have the guilt I feel when they ask me why I can't stay home with them.

From the outside looking in, the view looks so much better some days...


brogansmomma/pleutim said...

I feel the same way sometimes. Sure I have some day off throughout the week sometimes due to my weird work schedule but it's not the same. I still can't commit to anything whether it be volunteering for things that require regular shifts, playdates, groups, etc because I don't get the same days off each time. My schedule shuffles around a mix of days and nights over the course of seven weeks before it repeats.

I'll be honest and say that I am enjoying having B in school and this year he goes all day every day (as opposed to every other day last year). I'm not at all sure that I could do SAHM with him here every day. But then again, there are a million things that I could change about myself that would likely help that immensely.

Me, I'd love to be SAH so that I don't have to take him to my mom's half the nights in the week to sleep because I'm either working at 6am the next day or working a night shift; so I could drive him to school every morning (easier than meeting the bus) and he could get off the bus every night at his own house; it would be easier for me to keep his diet consistent (people either have good intentions or complete disregard for what I'm doing); he'd be happier with that arrangement; my mom, though she enjoys him, would get a break as well; I'd get to attempt to be that Suzy Homemaker that I can't be right now with limited time and low energy; B would be able to do extracurricular activities consistently instead of missing some now because of night shifts and my mom not being able to take him; etc...

Or at least that's what I imagine. Maybe the reality would be different. I don't think that SAHM's have time aplenty to do their nails and watch the soaps, just more time to fit in the things that matter.

And that was very nearly a blog entry in your comments. Sorry!!

Jennifer said...

I think both are hard, but the way I see it is that we have to do all of the same things SAHM's do, but in a lot less time during the day. Just because we work does not mean home chores, dr appts, chauferring kids stops. We still ahve to do all of that too.

I definitely get jealous some times... even though I don't think I could stay at home all the time. I think I would be an insane person. I wish I could work like part time and keep the kids in day care like three days a week. That way I could spend more time with them, keep the house neater (because I gave up on it actually being clean a long time ago) and get errands doens before the weekend.