I have been having a rough go lately with work - much more than I want to disclose on a public blog - but it's been getting to me, little by little, until today I just lost it. I was a crumpled, crying mess full of self-doubt and frustration and fear. It's so hard sometimes, knowing you are accountable for decisions that are made of which you have no control. It makes me wonder: am I capable of cleaning up the mess that's left behind? Am I strong enough to take the mental and emotional beating that I'm about to receive? Was I made for a time such as this? Lord, send me a sign!
And then... the rain came.
I am listening to the sound of the rain hitting my chimney vent - that glorious sound. We've had only 8 inches of rain this year, and it decides to rain now...
Sweet providence.
Okay, Lord. I'm listening. I can do all things through You.
"Bring me joy, bring me peace,
bring the chance to be free,
bring me anything that brings You glory.
Cause I know there'll be days
when this life brings me pain
but if that's what it takes to praise You,
Jesus, bring the rain." ~ MercyMe
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
My Precious...
I received my Kim Hargreaves Precious pattern book in the mail yesterday and I am seriously drooling. I love almost every pattern in this book, and can't wait to make a run to the yarn store today to load up! While Lauren is my favorite, I'm not sure if I'm ready to jump back into something that tedious, so I'm going to start with Jen, a cropped cardigan - and then go from there. One of my fave KH patterns, Fay, is also included in this book, so yay!!
Time to load up the girls for a trip to the Yarn Barn!
Time to load up the girls for a trip to the Yarn Barn!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Stay At Home Envy
Do any of you working moms out there ever wish you could be a stay at home mom?
I do.
I know my perception is probably far from reality, but sometimes it seems like such a better situation. There's no hurry up and rush in the morning to get the kids to daycare so you can get to work - work all day then hurry to daycare to get the kids before they close - then head home to figure out something quick to cook for dinner and feed the kids - then clean up the kitchen before it's time for baths and bed - then try to pick up the house your children destroyed in the fifteen minutes you weren't looking - then sit down and discuss your day (work) with the hubby since you don't have any friends that are interested in listening - then finally plop down in bed so completely exhausted from the day when (oh you can't be serious) dh starts rubbing up against you.
All to get up at 5am - okay, 520am after I hit snooze twice - to do it over again the next day.
I'm envious of the girls I know that stay at home, who get to meet up at 10am to do Bible Studies or get the kids together for playdates at the morning library story time. I'm jealous of Mother's Day Out. I'm envious of naptime, when I notice they get time to post comments on blogs or on Facebook or have time to clean the house since the kids are sleeping. I wish I too could go to the gym every morning after breakfast rather than once every couple of weeks. I'm jealous that they get to drive the SUVs my dh won't let me have. I'm jealous that I'm not part of their close-knit circle of SAHM friends, since us working moms don't fit in that group sometimes. I wish, at the end of day, I'd still have enough energy to play with my kids rather than falling asleep while they watch Dora, and I wouldn't have the guilt I feel when they ask me why I can't stay home with them.
From the outside looking in, the view looks so much better some days...
I do.
I know my perception is probably far from reality, but sometimes it seems like such a better situation. There's no hurry up and rush in the morning to get the kids to daycare so you can get to work - work all day then hurry to daycare to get the kids before they close - then head home to figure out something quick to cook for dinner and feed the kids - then clean up the kitchen before it's time for baths and bed - then try to pick up the house your children destroyed in the fifteen minutes you weren't looking - then sit down and discuss your day (work) with the hubby since you don't have any friends that are interested in listening - then finally plop down in bed so completely exhausted from the day when (oh you can't be serious) dh starts rubbing up against you.
All to get up at 5am - okay, 520am after I hit snooze twice - to do it over again the next day.
I'm envious of the girls I know that stay at home, who get to meet up at 10am to do Bible Studies or get the kids together for playdates at the morning library story time. I'm jealous of Mother's Day Out. I'm envious of naptime, when I notice they get time to post comments on blogs or on Facebook or have time to clean the house since the kids are sleeping. I wish I too could go to the gym every morning after breakfast rather than once every couple of weeks. I'm jealous that they get to drive the SUVs my dh won't let me have. I'm jealous that I'm not part of their close-knit circle of SAHM friends, since us working moms don't fit in that group sometimes. I wish, at the end of day, I'd still have enough energy to play with my kids rather than falling asleep while they watch Dora, and I wouldn't have the guilt I feel when they ask me why I can't stay home with them.
From the outside looking in, the view looks so much better some days...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
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